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Hello, Global Family!

Where you are NOW can be magical — providing that you trust in the process and resist the temptation to always choreograph the ballet. Today, once again I sit in an environment filled with smiles, “standing ovations”, words of love, laughter and total encouragement. I stare out onto a storm moving into the bay. The palm trees are swaying in the wind. The smell of cookies baking in the other room wafts through the air. Trucks and cars zoom by on the bridge in the distance. There is a blissful harmony in this moment. A calming peace. A sense of rightness.

And did I mention that some of the wonderful people in this room have lost a leg, have lost their families and lost much of their mobility…? Most are in wheelchairs. Some will never walk again and yet there is more life in this room than I often feel in the midst of the hustle and bustle of any given city street. Being alive is not a physical state. It is truly a mindset.

We live inside of our minds. Our beliefs about everything that occurs in the outer world are created in the inner world. Schuyler and I wake up each day with a giggle and a smile — a genuine giggle and a smile. It doesn’t matter whether we are waking up in the middle of the night for a quick trip to the rest room or whether we are waking up for the morning rush to therapy. We wrestle into a pair of spanx, which serves to counteract Schuyler’s ataxia. By the time that they are on, I am covered in sweat as if I have spent 15 minutes in spin class. The sun blasts in through the bathroom window making the temperature even more sweltering. We juggle. We maneuver. We brace ourselves. We struggle and YET WE LAUGH.

This is our life to create. This is our moment to live — never to have the chance to repeat. And yet somehow in the midst of what could be stress, we find pleasure. We find silliness. We find numerous reasons to feel joy. I genuinely FEEL the progress. The way that Schuy stands up… a bit more poise… a bit more balance… then the swaying, the overcorrection, the “almost fall” but finally stable–at least more stable than it has been in the past. This recovery is not quick but it is noticeable and powerful.

My time is of course a challenge because there are many, many things that pull at me — that cry out saying that this (no, THIS) most importantly must be done. We are in a new phase. Schuyler’s naps are a thing of the past. REJOICE! Her brain wants to savor more of this day. She wants to stay awake. She is ready for the next challenge — ready to live more!

I look over and see her in a hurdler’s stretch lifting her back leg, strengthening her abductors. These are hard exercises but yet she persists. Her desire is strong. She knows. She KNOWS that the health of her body is an important tool for her life-long tool box. Schuy’s therapist pushes a huge wedge shaped mat over onto the floor. It sounds like an explosion. Everyone jumps. Everyone laughs.

Time for OT. Today, Schuyler gets to simulate being in her own apartment. She will get to try her hand at making gourmet P, B & J sandwiches, getting into bed, using the restroom — all as independently as possible. Schuy is nervous but excited.

Heather begins setting up the “kitchen” area. The jelly goes on the higher shelf. She puts a loaf of bread, a glass plate, a single serving PB container and a wide knife on the counter. Schuy propels herself over to the counter using her heels for traction. Heather engages the wheel chair brakes. Schuy nervously grips the edge of the counter and pushes up to a stand. She opens the cabinet and reaches up for the jelly. Heather holds onto the back of her gait belt. Schuy laughs nervously.

My heart is BUBBLING OVER like a champagne bottle newly uncorked! Should I laugh, cry, whoop, roll onto the floor? I can SEE it– the vision of Schuyler on her own — making it, commanding it… thriving! A thousand gazillion variations of joy propel me away from my computer. I grab the iPad. I MUST get this moment on film.

Schuy plops back down on her chair. She takes a hesitant look and then begins loading it all — the bread, the knife, the peanut butter and the entire jar of jelly– onto the glass plate. My heart jumps. Can this be possible? Even my positively skewed mind can’t help but wonder if she can manage all of that. She grips onto the plate of ingredients and begins to move the chair backwards. Things rattle but they do not fall. Amazing!

Once again she uses her heels to shimmy the wheel chair backwards then around and then heads toward the table. She puts the ingredients onto the table. Nothing falls! I can barely contain my excitement. I want to run over and throw my arms around that darling neck but I resist. She struggles a minute trying to align the chair with the front of the table but she finally gets it set up the way that she wants it. Heather locks in the brakes.

There is an adaptive cutting board on the table. Schuyler begins. She picks up the loaf of bread and begins untwisting the twistee. She puts the twistee on the table, reaches in and pulls out two pieces of bread. She sets them on the plate and grabs the loaf of bread again and grabs the twistee. Both Heather and I look at each other. The twistee is small. There is quite a bit of loose plastic around the loaf of bread. Neither of us had expected to see her try to put the twistee back in place, but of course we were game to let her try. She fiddled and she fiddled. She twisted and she twisted. It got tangled in the plastic. She started again. Heather and I both watched, enthralled by what we were witnessing. After two more attempts, the twistee twisted perfectly into place. Anyone picking up this loaf of bread would have no suspicion that Schuy had done that. We exploded in celebration!

By noon, Schuy had successfully made herself her first peanut butter and jelly sandwich since Colombia — her first sandwich of any kind since Colombia. She had wheeled by herself over the “bed”. She had gotten both on the bed and off, while Heather gently spotted. She wheeled herself to the bathroom then only a few minutes later, out she emerged with Heather — both beaming. She had needed little to no assistance. This was HUGE!

We are in no rush yet we celebrate the double rainbows as they suddenly appear in our sometimes stormy skies. Our celebrations are not because we are getting closer to where she wants to go. They are because this moment is new and fresh and surprising and sweet. Each moment is precious in its own right. Each moment is a gift. We love where we are and that love propels us eagerly onto the next journey.

How magical is the power of trusting the process and managing the expectations! We have our wishes, our dreams, the desires that we blurt out to God Universe — but that’s where the “fun” begins. We wish but we don’t know. We don’t know the exact path to get “there” but when we learn to keep the feeling of our final destination in focus, there is no wrong turn. There is no missing the boat. There is only the joy of the journey along the way. There is only learning to get out of our own way.

Yes, I truly believe that the world needs more dreamers and believers because those are the ultimate “realists” on this lovely little planet. The dreamers and believers are the ones without limits, the ones who dare to create in spite of “the impossible”, the ones who have such a powerful vision that what was once flat becomes “magically” round.

Today, take a look at your own focus. What is immediately around you right now that might hold a “secret’ to your next inspired action? What might make you laugh? What might make you gasp in enamored awe? What might the world be orchestrating right in this very minute that you can’t yet see? Our happiness is not defined by our circumstances. It is our circumstances that are defined by the level of happiness that we are open enough to feel.

Have an amazing day, dear family! Hope to share an hour with some of you Millennials tomorrow! Can’t make it or just want a copy? Feel free to message me!

In Joy,

Meridith Hankenson Alexander

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