The Art of Resilience demands not so much the ability to overcome massive adversity as it does the ability to know when to step away from the microscope. Even a fruit fly looks formidable when magnified 1000%.
We live in a world where we have been trained to find “what’s wrong with this picture”? “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is — so what’s the catch?” We have been trained to believe that we must find the hidden land mines before they devastate us without warning.
“Seeing is believing” is considered far more realistic of a quote than “believing is seeing” — and yet, more and more research supports that life (and/or our subconscious minds) tends to create experiences based on our expectations.
So do we actually have a prayer of deliberately impacting our own expectations? After all, hasn’t life given us solid “evidence” to support our darkest fears? Evidence of our most paralyzing sources of worry and despair?
A resounding YES to all of those questions!
Our beliefs and expectations most definitely impact how we experience life. Two people may experience the same crisis and yet the interpretations may be completely the opposite. One may see the challenge as certain defeat while the other views it as an opportunity to grow and create something wondrous.
When we can learn to exercise guidance — deliberate positive intent — on our inner narrative, every aspect of the way that we begin to experience life then changes.
When we give critical importance to launching our beliefs and strategies from the powerful stance of hope/faith, we become true forces to be reckoned with — champions in the Art of GRIT.
Our businesses, our relationships (including our relationship with ourselves) and our lives become an elaborate unfolding of our own unique Greatnesses.
As we ponder the concept of mental health this month, I would urge us all to “real eyes” the very essence of mental health.
I believe that mental health is not simply about “fixing the old issues” (and leaving ourselves at the reset point). True mental health requires discipline and the powerful buoyancy of a positively focused community.
Mental health requires the dedication to replace habits that no longer serve you — or that lead to self-sabotage and despair — with new consistently repeated rituals that inspire you.
True mental health asks you to find a way to trust not only the world but to learn to trust yourself.
Just as a healthy culinary diet requires you to readjust your patterns and value, just as a healthy physical routine requires consistency, a healthy mental “diet” requires a deliberate mindset rooted in positivity.
My dear colleagues Angel and Marc Chernoff told a story in their new book “Getting Back to Happy” of their UCF professor who held a glass over her head and asked students how much it weighed.
After several minutes of random guessing, the professor smiled and replied. She stated that when she holds the glass over her head for just a few seconds, the glass truly is not very heavy. If she keeps holding it for a full minute, it starts to feel heavy.
If she continues to hold the glass over her head for 5 minutes, the glass starts to feel significantly heavier. If she tries to hold the glass over her head for an hour, it becomes close to impossible to bear.
That glass is akin to the weight of our self-doubt, the weight of our fears, the weight of our critical inner dialogue, the blame, the shame, the “not enoughness”….
Today, if you truly want to make massive strides toward resilience in any situation, if you want to see phenomenal growth in your business, your relationships and your life, it is time to finally give yourself permission to SET DOWN THE GLASS.
It is time to step back from the microscope and try looking at the experiences of your life and your conclusions about the world from a new empowered “can’t get this wrong/ success in progress” perspective.
It is time to stop doubting your own ability to solve the monumental problems of your life and to begin doubting whether these problems are quite as insurmountable as you initially believed them to be.
Yes, a journey brimming with doubts and obstacles is what the journey to ultimate success looks like. There is nothing wrong. There is nothing lacking. There is simply the beautiful river of success and you are in the flow.
Sometimes these waters may appear lazy and calm. At other times, you’ll need to prepare for whitewater. You cannot miss this boat on this magnificent river because you are the boat.
You are the life boat, the race boat, the ship of all ships.
Today, agree to release the habit of doubting your ability to solve your problems. Today, instead, commit to doubting whether the problem is genuinely a problem. Could it be simply more fuel for your vessel’s engine?
In Joy,
Meridith Alexander
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