On February 19, 2016, a group of tourists were frolicking in the river after a morning of white water rafting in Colombia, South America. A river guide climbed up the rocky ledge to take a photo. The next thing that the group below heard was his frantic cry, “Boulder!” Mass panic ensued as the tourists tried to get out of the way. All but one succeeded. That one was my daughter, Schuyler. 

It is said that fear and doubt kill more potential than any act of violence or disease will ever do. And yet, how do we combat those paralyzing emotions when faced with a challenge or obstacle that appears “impossible” to overcome? 

When the boulder crushed my daughter, I was told that the doctors would try to keep her alive long enough for me to get down there to say my goodbyes. Schuyler’s injuries were massive. Any one of them could prove fatal. Coupled all together in one human being, let’s just say that textbook medicine thought that it would take a miracle for her to survive. 

Challenge accepted. 

I won’t kid you. As my oldest daughter and I raced to catch our flights to Colombia, I probably cried more tears than I had cried in an entire lifetime. 

Death and the loss of someone that we love can feel like we will never be happy again — ever.  I would guess that some of you who are reading this know exactly what I mean.

My heart churned through every negative emotion possible — despair, anger, grief, fear, devastation, helplessness, angst, frustration, worry… you name it. It was a suffocating black fog like one of the most heinous moments in one of Hollywood’s darkest movies — but this was real, frighteningly real. 

As painfully surreal as that moment was for me, these soul-wrenching events are a common part of life on this planet. We humans find ourselves regularly having to weather these storms. We can give up, give in to depression or we can use these challenges to become even bigger…. easier said than done, perhaps… 

So how do we move forward when we are in the midst of what feels like potentially a crushing blow? How do we move through an army of negative thoughts and emotions to gain our power back? 

Is it possible to redirect the energy of these powerful emotions so that they become the rocket fuel that propels us far beyond what previously was possible?

My experience tells me that it is. And yes, it IS all in our minds. Our minds create the thoughts that dictate what we make these experiences mean in the overall portrait of our lives. 

In my own case, if I was going to have a prayer of helping my daughter, I had to control my mind. I had to place my bet with the camps that have said throughout time that our minds can accomplish miracles. 

Especially in today’s world where inventors are creating “impossible technology” every day, we see irrefutable evidence that “impossible” is certainly relative. 

As I flew to Colombia not knowing what lay ahead, I decided that I may not be able to control our outer game, but I sure could control my own inner game. To be the best mom to my daughter at that moment, I had to find a level of Greatness within myself that was beyond all other. 

I had to find a way to do three things: 

  1. Control the energy surrounding this experience
  2. Live as if the outcome that I desired was a given
  3. Trust the process

I will elaborate on each of those three elements in my next blogs. For now, let me just say that “miraculously” when I made the decision that our circumstances did not define us, when I began to apply a “positive realism” to my mindset, it felt as if Life had  to conform to my vision.

I can tell you that even in the midst of total crisis, I felt happy. I felt confident. I felt calm. I felt almost like I had seen the future and I liked what I saw. 

I felt a sense of gratitude for every painful event during my life. I felt a sense of forgiveness — forgiving Life for every boulder that had been thrown in my path, including the one that had nearly killed my daughter. I also felt a sense of purpose and self-empowerment that I had never experienced prior to this event. The energy behind my fear suddenly became the rocket fuel behind my intent — the clarity behind my purpose.

Yes, “miraculously” Schuyler survived. 

Doctors who had once looked at us with pity began to look at us in awe. They referred to us as the miracle family.  Four months passed and I became Schuy’s full-time caregiver. 

My Yale graduate now began the formidable process of re-learning literally everything. To date, two years later, she still needs physical assistance to even stand up. 

And yet, our mindset remains powerful and positive. “Miracles” continue to unfold. Wonderful and amazing opportunities come our way. 

Stressful situations transform like a kaleidoscope into something profoundly inspiring and empowering. 

We are all human beings first and foremost. We are going to encounter obstacles. It is time that we embrace all that differentiates us from computers and machine — the often mysterious power of our minds. 

As chaos and upheaval seems to abound in our world and in the future economy, there was never a time when it was more important for us to embrace the duality of all nature. Just as there is a powerful outer world waiting to be explored, there is an equally powerful inner world that we cannot ignore. 

Our inner world is not intended to run on autopilot and it certainly does not perform at its best as our “own worst enemy”. If we want to achieve — whether it be in our lives or in our businesses— we have to stop worrying about appearing to be “woo woo” and weird. 

We must learn to deliberately coach our minds toward its potential. Greatness is in each and every one of us, but it’s like the joke about the person praying to God to win the lottery. After much begging and pleading, God finally says to the human, “if you want to win the lottery then get up and go buy a lottery ticket. I can only help you if you are willing to walk through that door.” 

If we truly commit to desiring a world that is amazing, we have to start by being committed to being amazing ourselves. We have to deliberately create an amazing mind. 

Yes, there will be obstacles. There will be monsters and sometimes literally boulders. 

I am living proof, however, that it’s not in spite of these obstacles that we succeed. It’s precisely thanks to these boulders that we discover just how magnificently we can eventually soar. 

If you overcome a major obstacle in your life, I would love to hear about it. Feel free to leave a comment below or visit me on my website www.meridithalexander.com . 

Make today the day that you embrace your obstacles with fresh new eyes. With a bold new perspective, the sky is the limit — and sometimes the limit is just the beginning. 

— Meridith Hankenson Alexander

Motivational Keynote Speaker/Trainer/ Author